Let's look at the twirly moustache. The sheer ratio of moustache length to body mass of the Emperor Tamarin leaves no doubt in anyone's mind that the proud tache,... the glorious lip-toupée,... the flavour-saver crumb-catcher, tea-strainer, lower-brow is no godly machination, Mr. Tickler is 100% monkey!
On creationist myths, believe what you want... you can Adam and Eve it, Brahma the hell out of it, or if you want to be more obscure, Unkulunkulu it but when it comes to the Hipster there is no doubt! The Hipster comes from the Monkey! And the proof?... The proof is in the hair.
The Golden-Langur is another prime example. To this day, it proudly displays mutton-chops that would be the envy of any Victorian gentleman.
Dear hipster look and learn! Fine, golden and naturally coiffed.
If you need any more proof that sideburns are a simian masterpiece let's look at the Chimp. You can grow and groom your sideburns all you want but the casual grunge sideburn of the Chimp is a hard act to follow.
The monkey is born with it!
...If you still have any doubts that Hipsters are the proof that the 'link' is no longer missing, have a close look at the beard of a Mountain Gorilla.
No monkey is so naturally Hipster... You can put him in any expensive coffee house around the world or in a log cabin full of lumberjacks and the Gorilla fits right in.
Dear Hipster, our forefathers are follicly inspirational but they are now in serious trouble due to habitat destruction, poaching, exotic pet trade, etc...
Let's band together to save our ancestors.
Avoid products with palm oil, only buy wood that has Forest Stewardship Council (FSC) certification, cycle, buy organic stuff, recycle and re-use, plant trees and don't forget your ancestors when you twirl your face-carpet.
